I am often described by my friends as “pasaway”. And so on my birthday, I will, in true “pasaway” form, talk about death.
Through all these years, especially in the last year or so, I have encountered several deaths. The death of a celebrity, a colleague, an acquaintance, a relative’s relative, a friend of a friend, a total stranger. Death often comes as a shock, and it is always met with grief. But while it is a tragedy, death is also a celebration of sorts. A celebration of the end of pain and suffering. A celebration of the beginning of endless peace. A celebration among people you leave behind, that finally, you’re gone. Kidding. Or maybe not.
Okay, let me get to the point of this article – my “huling habilin”. Now, before you get excited, I am not dying. At least not anytime in the near future. I hope. I just want to save my future dead self from cringing or wanting to haunt my friends and loved ones. I want to have, as morbid as it may sound, my dream wake/funeral.
On that cheerful note, here is a list of my requests:
- I don’t want to be in a boring, tasteless, white garb.
- I want to be cremated.
- I want a party for my wake. As in good food, entertainment, upbeat music, booze, etc. If it’ll cost too much, a simple get together will do, as long as it’s still a party.
- Guests must wear something colorful. If you wear black, I will haunt you.
- People seem to only talk about the deceased person’s good traits, habits, etc. I’m sure there are negative things that can be said about me. After all, nobody’s perfect. And you can’t please everyone. It’s okay to talk about the bad stuff. Seriously.
- Do not play card games.
- If there is any mess, trash or dirt, go ahead and clean it up. Make sure to use a broom.
- My relatives should shower. Please.
- Feel free to take pictures. By groups of threes. And please smile. Wacky shots are allowed and even encouraged.
- Guests leaving the party can be escorted or seen off at the door.
- I don’t care if I’m carried out head first or feet first. Jeez.
- For crying out loud, don’t do that slow march thingy on the streets on the way to the funeral. I don’t want to cause traffic, especially when I’m already dead. Step on it.
- I don’t want some boring, slow, sad song blasting from my “limo”. Play something happy and upbeat.
- If there’s a birthday party, wedding, or whatever festive activity that is to be held within a year of my demise, by all means, the event should push through.
- I don’t want any of that “pa-siyam” or “40 days” thingamajiggy. The yearly bit will do just fine.
- After the funeral, the guests can go straight home. No, my soul will not follow you. Unless you chose to wear black.
- Try not to cry. It’s a celebration, remember?
I’m too lazy to research on any more superstitions about deaths and funerals, so I’m sure I missed some stuff. Just make sure to do the exact opposite of whatever superstition dictates, and we’re good.
Having said that, I don’t have a death wish, so… knock on wood.